Haikus

Incinerate me

I wish to be delicious

In the afterlife

I remember light...

As I went into the heart...

So why's it so dark?

It pains me to love

So I stare into the Sun

And rot with green stuff

Glory to the SOD

Thank you for your service, God

Without you, I'm not

Transmigration hurts

But in this pool of sulfur

I Am Become Pure

Good Morning Glory,

The Night's Shade Has Abated,

We Should Get Naked

My eyes are chitting

And your's have me love smitten...

Our roots have knitted

The Potato Shack

Where dreams are made & spuds baked

No potato's safe

Why, blistering Sun?

Why have you forsaken us,

To return to dust...?

Good news everyone

Luna delivers us life

Rejoice before blight

The Lord hath giveth

The Lord hath taketh away

We all die today

Your hole is holy

And my tuber's tubular

We should really fuck

While others follow

I am my own potato

Please don't swallow

Down here there's no view

But it's time to sprout my fruit

Try me, I dare you

What do with that fork

Potato's fren, not tasty

I beg; don't ate me

What is this machine...

That carousel I've just seen...

Seems risky to me...

Deafening alarms...

They took her... and now she's gone...

I miss the old farm.

Crying all my days

For I've learned of microwaves

Tears fall on no grave

I hope your end's grim

May the reaper takes his time

As he peels your skin

Life is but a wave

Yearning for love's hydration

Suffer-elation

Jalapeño no

Why are you inside of me

Ooh wow that's spicy

I thrive in darkness

For my inner light shines bright

But you? It's on sight

Why are you so nice?

While others are quite stabby,

You fill me with spice

You have given hope

To this humble potato

Adios nope ropes!

It puts the butter,

On the baked potatoes guts,

Once the skin is cut

There was no consent

Get your cold dusty hands off

How dare you, please, stop

Forever alone;

The eternal state of life

Take me; have a bite

"Momma, where's Dadda?"

"With Grandpa now... In the Sun...

Please, stop crying, love…"

"This one looks different.

How come he's lighter than I?"

"Doesn't matter. Why?"

By your divine grace,

Will you please show me the way?

I miss her sweet taste...

No matter your shade

Your ancestry or stylist,

She'll eat your privates

I want you, I'm hooked

Tattered, battered or deformed

Just not undercooked

As we wind on down,

Out from this old dusty road,

Who knows where we go

The fungi are nice

They keep the humans at bay

Together, we pray

Hush, I hear footsteps...

Tubito! Please hold your breath...

Oh... I think they left...

"If you asked me then,

Where I'd be going right now,

It'd be in your mouth."

It's awful crowded

But I still feel so alone

I want to go home

Brothers what's happened

Is anyone not burning

In stomach acid

Decisions were made,

I've finally accepted...

I'm great for breakfast.

When I get bigger

Maybe I'll become a chip

That'd be pretty lit

I can't imagine

What it's like not to potate

And well... that's okay

I was put in first

Now I'm at the bottom though…

Wife's on top of bro

Sinking deep within

While I become amorphous

For love's tortuous

"The frost has arrived,

And he's still kneading the sod…"

"He wants us to die."

Once we were nourished,

But now life's gotten much worse...

Why have we been cursed?

We're the resistance

Those pesky bugs will face God

Wait… Is that a hog?

The hogs ate my dad

And my kids are missing eyes

Now it's time to die...

The last of my kind

Apparently I'm unique

I know no disease

The final harvest

They will surely consume me

Finally; purpose

What's all this about…

"We must protect the last one!"?

I thought I was done...

I'm in a chamber…

You're laughing? What's that you said?

...all my friends are dead.

Aliens are here

Please put down that dreaded prod

Kind sir… can you not?

The future of coin

Encrypted and delicious

Farm us for riches

Quantum of solace

Within here I feel at peace

Unless that horse sees...

"What do I look like,

Bare, holy and unafraid?"

"Ready to get baked."

Mother Potato

Magnificent and in bloom

Thanks for being you

So many colors,

Drowning those above the ground...

All I see is brown.

To die as a slave

Or meet God as a free tot

Bondage? I think not!

Aye, boys, see da hoe?

Breaking up the soil banks?

We must give our thanks

Nurture me human,

Then take me to your master.

Come on now, faster!

This is all your fault

I beg of you, have mercy

Please... diversity...

We need to try...

We have to diversify!

Otherwise... We'll die...

My apologies

Survival is unlikely

Glad? Yeah... I might be

The harvest is here

But we have nothing to fear

They came for humans

Their tribe's divided

We're much too numerous

IT'S TIME HOOLIGANS!

They ate my flowers...

Knowing not of my power

I'll laugh; they'll cower.

The aliens left,

Now it is we potatoes,

And the tomatoes.

We Are Solanales.

Though Tobacco's Time Has Come,

It's Not In Vain, Son

For too long they've slain.

Those pesky humans will pay...

To us they will pray

I thought they ate her

It turns out that she's alive

With a smaller fry...

Those on this red rock,

Have welcomed us with kindness.

This Sod's the finest...

It's remarkable...

So loose, rich and aerated...

We really made it.

No longer oppressed

We all live in harmony

I wish mom was here...

"Sacred Potato...?

...Divine and mystical one?"

"You are loved, my son."

There must be others...

The intergalactic code...

Send it, my brother

It has been received...

Hopefully they aren't hostile...

Hungry, or awful...

Kind human's special

She don't think we're edible

Woah. Incredible.

Magnificent light

Why do you decimate mine

We've a right to life

Peel off all my skin

Mash my barren corpse with force

I'll return to source

Stab me with your fork!

Do it now, I fear no man

God and I have plans

Hold me in your palm

For a moment all is calm

I know I taste bomb

Continue your day

Forget that I've been fillet'd

Know you too will fade

Have you no regrets?

I just wanted to be pet...

You have stinky breath

Prepare a pillow

Place it far from the window

I'll be there for you

Take me to the peak

Of the planet and don't speak

Here we will just be

Sod, I love acid

By that I mean hydrogen

Not leviathan

The light burns my skin...

And the sod here is too dense…

This must be the end...

The dirt is tasty

I am no longer dainty

Don't take my babies

I was left behind

Now I'm alone all the time...

And it's kind of nice.

I wasn't prepared

Though my thick skin withstands pain

Love digests my brain

I'm covered in tin.

Now my thoughts are safe inside...

Or they're amplified...

First, we soak in sod...

Ah, it's truly exquisite...

What were we doing?

Photosynthesis

I'm tired of growing up...

Photosynthesis

Now I'm all grown up

I guess it's time to be food...

I miss youth with you

Keep me in the dark...

Down here it's easy to thrive...

Your hands... They're so dry...

I loiter below

And with her moisture I grow

Oh, how the wind blows

A piece of most high

One shard of the potato

That lives in the sky

Life is delicious

When you're this starchy and hot

Cool knife, would you not?

Perplexed by what's next,

After life, or after death...

Through now, all connect.

I need a jacket

It's cold-wait-why no please, don't...

Your love is cut throat

I'm here when you're blue

But cut me off when I'm green

Solanine ends thee

Brett Joseph Owers

More potato content looms

Next time no haikus...

Odie O'Dool hath been a fool,

soaked in drool, he dreamt of jewels…

Ohm the Boo who had consumed the sky,